All Apologies

To Gary,

image

This is Gary

For Oliva. I’m so sorry that your position in the family hierarchy took a nose dive when we brought baby home 3 years ago. I know you’re angry but if you don’t stop peeing where you’re not supposed to ie: anywhere other than your box I will have no choice but to pack your bags and ship you off to that giant litter box we call the great outdoors. I’m watching you buddy.

Love,

Sandra

***

To my mother,

Mama, content that I'm out of the terrible teens.

Mama, content that I’m out of the terrible teens.

For stupidly thinking I could smoke a cigarette in the house while you were home without you knowing when I was 16. I deserved that tongue lashing. I see that now. But for a moment I felt like a cool kid. Never mind that I was in the bathroom perched on the edge of the tub in my pink flannel PJs, rubber ducky staring me down. That was dumb.

Love,

Sandra

***

To my car radio,

Me, shamelessly reliving the 90's in my ride.

Me, shamelessly reliving the 90’s in my ride

Yes, I do know that music has evolved beyond August and Everything After as well as Nirvana Unplugged in New York and Automatic For the People. Please accept my sincere apology for subjecting you to these three CDs (why do I feel like I just said 8 track) constantly for the past two decades. I can’t really explain it away. I kinda like reliving the 90’s on my way to work alongside Sarah Michelle Gellar who continues in her efforts to eradicate the vampire population save one or two, Kurt Cobain is next to me playing his guitar working through a new song, and I’m thinking about framing a term paper that’s due for my Shakespeare course with a Billy Joel citation. No, I’m not kidding. Yeah I guess that should be another letter of apology. Forget it. Never mind. Please turn it up, Nightswimming is on next.

Love,

Sandra

 

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  One thought on “All Apologies

  1. March 26, 2014 at 7:03 am

    Letters for the Soul. There’s your compilation book title, Sandra. I did the look and your three-CD rotation, too. I will listen me some Counting Crows and Nirvana round here today. I love that live Kurt, Dave and Christ CD better the studio stuff, too.

    Like

    • March 26, 2014 at 8:05 am

      The live CD is like none other. It’s as though they came to the party with their favorite records and started playing the tracks they liked best along with some of their own work. I love it. That’s my take round here. 😉

      Like

  2. March 26, 2014 at 8:22 am

    I’m sure Gary understands, and thank goodness for mothers!

    Like

    • March 26, 2014 at 5:23 pm

      Thanks Dora! And you’re so right. I don’t want to think about where I might have landed if I didn’t have my mama. Xo

      Like

  3. Meeshell
    March 26, 2014 at 10:41 am

    No. Gary doesn’t understand 😦 I still remember telling you you had to massage his bum to get him to poo because he was soooo young. Yes, I’m a funny friend. But Gary doesn’t understand. Cats are soooo difficult to correct behavior but don’t give up on him. Peeing in places other than the box quite possibly could be a sign of a UTI (VERY common in male cats due to the litter) and not a sign of sibling rivalry. Check that first with the vet, you owe it to Gary as his once promised “forever home”. I mean Sponge Bob would do the same 😉 Love you!

    Like

    • March 26, 2014 at 6:16 pm

      Hi Michelle, his litter box is clean as a whistle. Testing for a UTI is negative. Vet thinks it’s behavioral. He’s angry/depressed, the cat not the vet. love you too!

      Like

      • Meeshell
        March 27, 2014 at 8:21 am

        Cats are assholes. 😉

        Like

      • March 27, 2014 at 7:14 pm

        You read my mind!

        Like

  4. March 26, 2014 at 12:11 pm

    Hahaha more letters to the cat please! Love them!

    Like

    • March 26, 2014 at 6:18 pm

      Hi Mark, glad you enjoyed one of my letters for a change! I will be sure to work more letters to cats into the mix. 🙂

      Like

      • March 26, 2014 at 6:27 pm

        Letters are personal. Adds more depth to everything, always enjoy yours 🙂

        Like

  5. March 27, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    Lovely post, love your humor. I only do this in my head, in fleeting distracted moments, and these thoughts never end up being expressed, verbally or otherwise. More letters to the cat!

    Like

    • March 27, 2014 at 4:20 pm

      Thank you so much for the kind feedback! What a sweet compliment. I will make note, more letters to Gary.

      Like

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