I have a close friend that gets seriously affected in a bad way with tales that describe animals, wild life, all living things in general in harms way. This is one of those stories. If you share the same aversion please do not read further.
Right outside our back porch I found a hairy, well-fed, jumping spider on top of what looked like an outdoor dust bunny; a tangled mass of fluff, dust, and other debris.
The 3-year old pixie hadn’t noticed it yet but was in close proximity.
Before it caught her attention I quickly snuffed it out.
Smash
Crunch
Splat
Eek, so much blood and crunch? Must have been larger than he appeared…or…?
Ugh, no. no. no. no!
Directly overhead: a bird’s nest.
A second look at the debris and I could make out its former embryonic (is that a word?) shape, floppy neck, translucent lids pinched shut.
Nausea
Stomach ache
Hot tears obscure the macabre scene.
*******
The resume now includes “grim reaper.” Baby birds and jumping spiders fear the approach of my heavy foot steps. Mr. Oogie Boogie is my new pal. I hate myself in this moment.
“I am the shadow on the moon at night filling your dreams to the brim with fright!” -Oogie Boogie
Square One Notes 
Holy mackerel, I just felt ill with that, I cannot imagine how you were able to handle it.
Oogie is the best Tim Burton character ever, IMHO.
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When I realized what had just happened a wave of sickness nearly made me gag. So awful. I can’t get it out of my head. My hope is this post will allow me to air out the experience and move away from it. Poor birdie. I do think that the fall was high enough that he must have been gone before the spider found him…but I don’t know.
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((hugs)) I understand what you mean. I think that even though you didn’t mean it, it was still a humane, quick, passing compared to if you hadn’t seen that spider. Not sure if that helps any. ((more hugs))
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Thank you PunkRockSister ((Hugs))
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oh no! I would have been horrified too – one can only hope that the spider had already done some damage and you were just the closer
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That is kind of you Roy. I have the same hope. Also thinking that the tumble was from so high and he was just a wisp of a thing that it’s likely the impact from the fall is really to blame. But yes, I was/am horrified. 😦
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yup, I bet you are exactly right – don’t be so hard on yourself. it could happen to anyone
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And so there’s your vase in black and white, and I did not see this before my comment on yesterday’s post just moments ago, further illustrating our hermano-hermana mind meld, Sandra.
Regarding your unwilling making of that awful mess. The universe was at work and you somehow were chosen as the boot heel. 😦
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That’s a very kind way of reframing it, bro. I do appreciate it. This happened a few days ago. I’m trying to get it out of my head. This plus surrendering the family pets a few weeks ago has me in the lead for most deplorable villain. I need to shut down and restart. Ever feel that way?
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You are not a villain of any sort, Sandra, any time or any way.
I say so.
You are getting sort of a restart soon, housing, or renting back for July, sis?
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Oh I’m so sorry this happened! I too would be so upset and horrified. The bird died quickly, you did not make it suffer. Your reaction to the whole sad incident shows the kind person that you are, You have emotions for more fragile creatures.
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Thank you Crimson! You’re a dear for saying as much. Xo
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gulp!! So sorry!!
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Thank you CybeleMoon, 1st and last post in this vein I do hope! Tough read. I appreciate that you took the time, pal.
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Ugh, should not have read, but such great description!
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So sad but understandable as you are trying to be the protector. A reminder of life’s balance–don’t beat yourself up too much. That mama bird will be tugging at worms and other live creatures to feed her young pretty soon:)
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